Well here we go
This is kinda weird for me, since I don't ever talk about this kind of stuff with anyone. My Pagan Journey only started a week ago, but I'd like to tell you about my back story.
I grew up in your typical household that has the typical christian holidays. Except we never talked about God or even went to church. I think I did actually go to a church for my preschool though
I remember probably 2 or 3 times going to Sunday school because I was with someone's family, but that was my extent.
Throughout my life growing up and up to high school I didn't really think anything wrong or positive about God. I may have tried talking to him a few times, but got the typical no response, which never really talking with anything about it I didn't like.
When high school came, I actually joined a Youth Group for a girl. This actually was the start of me becoming an atheist. However during this time, I attended youth groups on Monday nights and Sunday Church for probably 2 years I think. My Sunday's were spent either watching kids or being present for the sermon.
During our times at youth group, we actually talked a lot about what we believed and thats when I actually came about not really sure about some all powerful god and that was actually ok. At this point I think i became atheist or at least accepted I was. I can't remember exactly what happened after that, but I eventually didn't go to youth group or church anymore.
Probably since late high school and up to a week ago, I was really against the idea of some all powerful God. Even at this moment, it just seems odd to me to think about one all powerful being that created everything and needs to be worshiped. The only person that really knows I'm against God is my Wife.
This is when it gets weird, especially since my Wife believes me to be entirely Atheist. I've recently visited our local "Wicca/Pagan/Spiritual" store. Not sure what you would call it, but its pretty cool.
The second time I visited, I bought a necklace, of a Deity Named "Cernunnos" and that's when I began my studies.
I've always heard of Thor and Rah and religions like that and wondered why they weren't studied. It seems more logical to me at least for these religions to make sense. Well in my studying I came across Paganism and it opened a new world for me. This has actually made me even realize how much more open pagan type religions are then a religion like Christianity.
I remembered looking up Wicca / Witchcraft when I was younger, but didn't really understand it then. Its really becoming full circle now. I've become entrenched into learning all I can and looking at life in a different perspective.
I'm currently reading the book "The Path to Paganism" by "John Beckett" and its really opening my eyes. I actually went to the park today with my daughter and may have actually had my first feeling of the gods of earth and even "Cernunnos" himself. At this point he is the only god I've really studied at this point, but I'm interested to learn more. I don't know if I'm going to study witchcraft, but its not off the table. Its also refreshing that a Pagan approach is so open and your not stuck to one way. I can worship certain Gods or change as I like, from my understanding so far at least.
I'm excited and scared, but I believe I am taking the right step in my life to become more open and one with our ancestors and earth.